Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
