i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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