I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
