I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Randomize
