I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
