Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
the liver wants what the liver wants
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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