STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
