it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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