They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Is it because I queefed?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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