I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
