so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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