just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Randomize
