There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
He did a backflip because drugs
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
