I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Randomize
