we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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