Sry I called you an 8
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
