I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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