why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
