Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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