I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
