She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
