i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Randomize
