At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
