We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
