i think my mom watched the whole time
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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