I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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