Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
