Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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