I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
