why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
