This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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