There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
