dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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