Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
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