sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
