just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Only a mothe r could love this liver
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
