i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
