did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
just tell him i said nine months
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
