Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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