Porn is love you can see.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
