No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
