i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
