I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
