youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
She tied me up with her honor cords...
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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