What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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