Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
