So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
