hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Oh god it's open bar.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
