there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
