Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
