But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
