well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
