after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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