Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
