he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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